Spending most of my life tinkering, I’ve realized that the most frustrating moments in a workshop happen when you try to force a result. We’ve all been there, tugging a starter cord on a stubborn engine until we are sweating, or trying to drive a screw into a piece of wood that just isn’t accepting it. Usually, the breakthrough doesn’t come from pulling harder or using more muscle. It comes when I finally step back, wipe the grease off my hands, and look at the machine holistically. I stop trying to start it and start troubleshooting the system.
I’ve come to see that life works much the same way. We often try to “force the start” by performing a role, managing every room we walk into, perfecting our image, or saying “yes” when our internal compass is screaming “no.” We think this performance is what keeps the engine running, but in reality, it’s what’s causing the friction. True power isn’t loud or forced; it is the quiet, steady presence of a person who has stopped negotiating their truth and started living it.
When an engine won’t turn over, it’s usually a lack of fuel, spark, or compression. When our lives feel “stuck” in a performance, it’s usually because our “insides” don’t match our “outsides.”
Even if you don’t have a mountain range on your horizon, we all need a mental “high ground,” a place where the air is clear and the noise of the world drops away. To move through life with steadiness, your internal system needs to be nourished, not just occupied.
As a partner and grandfather, I’ve learned that the greatest gift I can give isn’t my “capabilities,” it’s my presence. When we stop performing, we create a safe harbor where our loved ones feel they can finally drop their own masks.
Notice if you are still paying the “performance tax,” investing a massive amount of energy maintaining an image that isn’t you. Are you still comfortable in that space? How do you really feel playing this role? What would it feel like to let that go and allow yourself to just ‘BE’? What would it be like if you chose alignment over performance? You might discover that you finally have the fuel left over for the experiences in life that actually matter.
You can become the lead engineer of your own life. You can create awareness that the structure of your life experiences is built on your inner truth, not a role.
Looking for your inner truth? Take time alone outdoors, and go inside to reflect on your desires, your thoughts, and how they make your body and heart feel. Let your inner truth become your new north star and watch what happens in your outward human experience.
Steady as we go.
